Keep pressing on

Yesterday, a long time prayer of mine was answered.

You see, like many of us do, my husband has had issues with the church in general from things he saw in his upbringing. There is to much to go into any long details, but he witnessed alot of corruption, hypocrisy, and was even in somewhat of a cult at one point in time. After we got married and left our home church we kind of fell away using the excuse that nothing was like our old church. This was at least 10 years ago.

Phil was at a school all week. One of the nights I know he went out looking for a Mother's Day Gift. One of the places he stopped at was Barnes and Noble.

When he came home last night he said "I hope your not mad but I bought myself a gift I just needed something to read, I was bored."

So I thought "what kind of hunting book did he get?"

He takes out the book and says "Since we're having another girl, I figure I need to be a real good father for them" and flashed me the book.

"Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know. by Meg Meeker"

Can I just say that I was blown away. I know if I had bought that book for him, he probably would never read it.
I've literally been praying for him for years, not to be a good dad, but for his salvation. Things were pretty dark there for a while with him saying "he didn't know what he believed." He has always had this drive to be better then his dad, and I realized my nagging and begging to go to church was not helping. It just turned him off more.

So I turned to God. I read this scripture and continually reminded God of His promise

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,. 1 Peter 3:1

I have to say there were many days of tears thinking that this would never happen. I have literally prayed for him, for years.

And then it happened. As he sat reading the book he said to me "the more I read this book, the more I realize how important it is for us to have our kids in church. While I'm hunting tomorrow can you sit down and look at the area churches and find something for us? (sarcastically) I know you don't want to go, but I think it's a good idea especially for the girls."

Sometimes, we need to just back off and let God. Most times, easier said then done. Sometimes, you will pray for years before you have a breakthrough. Sometimes, God will answer as quickly as you asked. I have generally found that His timing is usually alot slower then ours, but you know, He knows best.

Just when I felt like all hope was gone. That little spark within was reignited. He has taken the first step with God's prompting. God has heard my cry and is answering my prayer. My number one concern above them all was salvation for my husband and children. Though I know he was saved years ago he certainly didn't believe anymore. I am beyond thrilled....and thankful to God more then words can express. Don't give up. Keep praying because you never know what God has in store.

When some feel like this baby girl is "less than" because she is a girl, I see her as one of the tools God has used to help my husband. This little life is not even here yet and she has made an impact. Try to wrap your head around that. It just proves that God really does have a plan for each and every one of us no matter how brief our life has been. This baby has only been growing for 19 weeks. Her daddy hasn't even seen her face, but she has made a difference to him. She may never know the full impact of her existence on him, but I am forever thankful to God for giving us this little girl. She IS something special. And we love her and want her beyond anything anyone could ever imagine. I can't wait to meet her face to face in just 19-20 more weeks.

Thank you God for answered prayer. I can never thank you enough. I am excited to see what out future holds, because I know Phil has a great calling in his life. This is just the beginning.

19 weeks.

I just felt her kick from the outside!!!

I have been wondering for the past few days when I would get to feel her kick from the outside. With my other kids by the time we knew their gender I could feel them moving from the outside. And if they knew what they were looking for, others could feel it too.

Most probably won't believe me when I say that I was looking up on google when I would feel her and then I felt her from the inside and decided to push on my belly. And wouldn't you know it she kicked right back. Very ironic, but very cool.

Today was kind of a lousy day so this just made the ending of today very good!

I just realized today that I am halfway done with this pregnancy. I know I am officially only 19 weeks today, but the baby is measuring about a week ahead of schedule already and we know I will have a scheduled c-section. That means the baby will come the latest at 39 weeks, but considering my history probably more like 37-38.

I am very emotional today. I have been crying all day long over just about anything. Everything and everyone is bothering me right now. I think having all these extra female hormones are to blame. I have been more sensitive and I cry alot more while pregnant with the girls then I was with my son. I'm sure it's all in my head bit it seems to be fact to me.

That's about it. I will have Emma take some pictures of me when she gets home from school. I am thinking about taking a break from Facebook, as I said every little comment etc is making me upset lately I think I just need to call it quits for a little while.

It's a...............

GIRL!!!!

My instincts were right we have a little girl on the way. Now to find her a name.

She has calmed down so much. She was so relaxed in my belly just hanging out not much movement at all. Yesterday her head was looking down and for most of the ultrasound she was back up laying sideways and looking at my back. Her head is on my left side which I am convinced is where she has been for a while now because that is the biggest part of her body and that's where I feel all the movement.
She brought her hand to her mouth a couple of times but overall she is very laid back. From my experience with my other kids they have pretty much have stayed at the same activity level they were at when they were in my womb. So hopefully, we will have a nice calm, easy going child. It would be a nice ending to the family. : )

Now a little bit about how my other kids reacted. Emma had a huge grin on her face from the moment the baby popped up on the screen. They have a really nice setup there. The ultrasound tech has her monitor to take her measurements on and there is also a big screen tv right in front of the table that has the image on it as well. It's nice to just lay there and be able to see everything without her having to pull the monitor back to take measurements. She took all the head measurements and belly measurements before she went to look at the genitals. So it took us a while to find out which was ok. Her heart rate was 153 bpm which again has gone up since my last visit. When the tech finally looked and said "well guys I don't see boy parts, so it's a girl." Ethan lost it. He kind of raised his voice and said "No lady I told you I wanted a boy!" As if she could change the outcome. Then he started crying. I am such a horrible mom, I was laughing at him the whole time because I couldn't believe a 3 yr old would react like that. I didn't know he cared that much. I did feel bad for him but it was so cute all at the same time.

So that's about it. I am still in shock that we are having a girl. I had this strong feeling this time it was a girl and I just can't believe I was right. I am so excited. There are such cute baby girls clothes out there I am excited to get everything for her.
This time around I need a new car seat and stroller because mine did not last. I got 2 kids out of the first one so I guess that's not too bad. However I was so practical the first time around. I bought the car seat and stroller in neutral colors because I knew I would use it again.
My dad and step mom (without asking) said they wanted to get me something nice and said they would buy the stroller car seat combo for me. Thank God...that's such a blessing. But I will tell you this....it's my last baby she's a girl and I am buying a pink one! If they have the one I want at the store it will be pink for sure. I am going all out girlie this time.

Oh yah and one more thing. Even though I was only 18 weeks and 4 days at my ultrasound they are saying she is measuring at 19 weeks 2 days (this one is obviously more accurate then the first ultrasound) and that she weighs 10 ounces. It's amazing you can be halfway through your pregnancy and the baby only weighs 10 ounces. I know that my not weight gain up to this point is all over. Baby girl needs to gain some weight!!!

Today is special

Today is the day! I am so stinking excited, its not even funny. Today is special. Not only will I be discovering what God has had planned for our family, but this is also the last time I will get to experience this. I want to remember every second of this day. The excitement that I will probably won't experience again until my own child is expecting their child.

It's special.

God knew before the beginning of time that this child would exist. That's hard for me to wrap my head around, especially since I lost two. Who would have thought that I would be sitting here now almost 5 months along with my third child. No one could have known....except God did know. He knew when He sent His son to die on the cross, that this child would need salvation.

How great is our God.

Today I get let in on the secret that God's been creating within me. He has allowed me to be the vessel in which He does all the work.
Today I get to peer in on His handywork and see what He's been up to for the past 9 weeks.

Today is special, and I'm very thankful.

God is my might.