I have hit the point where I am nothing but miserable. GREAT! I remember feeling like this with Emma but it was in the last month or so. I still have 10 weeks left how am I this miserable already?

I literally can't sit for long periods of time because the baby has mastered the art of putting extreme pressure on my nether regions all while rubbing against my ribs. One of those stretch you out torture tables sounds mighty fine right about now. ; )

I have pretty much cured the heartburn by taking Zantac twice a day but now leg cramps seem to be waking me every morning. I'm not sure what's worse.

My feet like to swell to about 3 times their normal size and my lower back is spent.

Oh yah and I am still having crazy dreams. 3 nights ago I dreamnt of epidural placement and it went well. 2 nights ago I dreamnt that I was sitting talking with Michelle Duggar when this strange guys showed up miserable with his life and shot himself in the head outside the window. WHAT?! These dreams are weird and kind of morbid.

Anyway I am just overall irritable lately and the heat doesn't help. I think I may need my 3d ultrasound to hurry up and get here to give me a reminder on why all this is going on. I need a piece of good stuff to make these last few months a little more manageable. At least with a picture of her it will make it more real.

As if leg cramps, heartburn and sleepless nights aren't real...but you know what I mean.

Anyway I apologize for being so pissy....just the way I'm feeling lately.

Remind me again.....

...why did I want another child? My 3 yr old has turned into a demon. God help me. Why now? This is the last thing I want to deal with and of course it's got to happen. Ever since we got home from vacation something switched in this child and he has become a terror.

He has been having temper tantrums several times a day. Today we dropped Emma off at horse camp and since I was out decided to stop at Walmart to do some food shopping. Afterall we haven't been home in 10 days...our cupboards are pretty bare. We got to the store and Ethan asked to walk. Ok this is fine because he normally stays with me and behaves. But not today. He was touching everything. He knocked down a rack of beef jerky and then preceded to touch wine bottles and pickle jars every chance he could get. Finally I had had enough and told him if he touched one more thing he was going in the cart. Lo and behold my child ran over to the coke refrigerator and opened it up and began touching bottles of soda. So into the cart he went. This child screamed and yelled at the top of his lungs, shouting "I don't like you mommy" all while trying to jump out of the cart. While trying to prevent him from falling he decided to whack me in the arm. Thankfully we were done food shopping ( I didn't get everything I needed but his behavior dictated that we were down at that point)I paid my $70 went to the car. When we got there he looks at me and says "do I get my M & M's" my reaction (in my mind of course) HELL NO! He didn't like hearing no and proceded to throw another fit. I picked him up buckled him in the car. His response was to take off his shoes and throw them. Then he asked for them back I said no. He decided to unbuckled himself and go get them. I picked him up and buckled him again. The screaming got louder. He again unbuckled. By this time groceries were loaded and I jumped in the back seat administered a spanking and re-buckled his butt into the car seat. I began to pull away he unbuckled again. Stopped the car re-buckled him. The screaming got louder. So I turned on the Family Christian station and blared it as loud as possible and pulled away. He screamed half way home. He came home ate lunch and went right to bed for a nap after apologizing saying "I so so sorry. I won't do it again. Do I still need a nap?"

My doctor called back and told me to take some Prilosec or Zantac for my heartburn so I decided to go to the store to get some before I picked up Emma. BIG MISTAKE! Let's just say he was not as sorry as he said because we replayed the scene this afternoon. When we got home he stood in the corner for what was supposed to be 3 minutes. He wouldn't stay there so it turned into 25 minutes. Can we say strong willed? We are going to have some battles on our hands in the next few weeks. I'll tell you this though, even if he kills me I will win.

On another note I need to praise God here for a moment. I honestly had no money for food this pay check and didn't know what I was going to do. I told God on the way to drop Emma off I didn't know what we were going to do. We needed to eat and I would have to not pay a bill in order to do that. When I got home sitting in my mailbox was a check for $497 from our old gas company. They finally picked up the tank and refunded us for all the propane in there. Thank God! I was able to get food and catch up on some bills I was behind on. We are still behind, but just seeing that come through...today of all days made me cry. Thank God!

Now off to start dinner before we have another episode or tantrums. This time it may be both of us throwing ourselves on the ground.