Sickness where are you?

I just keep praying for the safety of this baby. I am getting nervous as I feel nauseous and tired and hungry, but I haven't thrown up. In my past experience as long as I throw up everything is ok with the baby. I don't want to be sick like that but it would sure put my mind at ease if I did. I was reading in Exodus last night and I came upon this verse

Exodus 23:25-26 (New International Version)

25 Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you, 26 and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span.

Then this morning I got this verse from KLOVE.

I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. ~ Psalm 40:1, NLT

I am so trying not to panic about this situation buy my mind can't help but go there. Luckily because I have live children my chances of miscarriage, even though I had two already, is only 13%. But still, its hard to wait. Hopefully within the next week I start to get sick.

2:30 5 weeks 1 day

Just got out of the shower after my half hour nap and not feeling so hot. Actually I feel like I could be sick any moment now which is good and bad all at the same time. I want to be sick but only because I know that means a healthy baby...I don't want to be sick for obvious reasons.

Me and queasiness, its a love hate relationship.

5 weeks 1 day

Last night I fell asleep super early. I have been so tired lately. Thankfully so far I have been able to make it through the days without a nap but then around 8 o'clock I can't keep my eyes open for one minute more and I am done for the night.

I also wake up starving! I haven't even woken my kids up yet and I made myself french toast. LOL! I have gained back 2 of the 4 lbs that I lost. Oh well...we'll worry about weight loss in October. : )

So far so good. I still can't believe that I am pregnant. Its going to take some getting used to. My husband called me fertile myrtel because we didn't even think this month was a possiblity and in all honestly I wasn't actively trying to get pregnant. Once our insurance kicked in in November we knew that it would be ok if we got pregnant and I just decided to sit back and let it happen for once in my life. I was obsessed about trying to get pregnant. And here we are 2 months later and expecting a new little one.

I can't wait to see boy or girl. Emma says she thinks its twins...hahaha! She told me she has been praying to Jesus for a long time for twins...a boy for Ethan and a girl for her. I wouldn't doubt God answering her prayer since I think He has a sweet spot for children's requests, but at the same time it's not likely so if it were two babies what an amazing blessing that would be.
I have always wanted 4 kids, but because of my need for c-sections that's not going to be possible. The doctor told me I was healthy enough to have 4 or 5 sections but I myself don't feel comfortable with that.
I would love to have another boy and girl, but God knows best. I already have one of each so I really don't have a preference at all. I would love for Emma to have a sister, but at the same time I would like for Ethan to have a brother so whatever we get will be just perfect for our family. Now if only I could think of a name : )

Why is it so hard to get men to agree on a name? I don't understand. Phil said he is over "E" names and that's ok with me. We never intended on naming all of our kids with one letter it just so happened that these were the names we liked when I was pregnant with Emma. Phil doesn't like to talk about names until well after we know the sex. Me, I am a planner and I want to know now. hahaha. Even though I don't know what the child is I like going in there knowing that its named.
To me pregnancy is such an amazing thing. I can't wait to feel the baby move. I love having people feel it squirm and kick. I love knowing that for this one special time in my life God is actually working physically within me. What a profound mystery and miraculous event. My husband on the other hand gets freaked out when the baby moves. He doesn't like to feel it kick...he doesn't really connect until that little one enters the world. Then he is all tears and super protective. I had my sister and his sister with me when Emma was delivered. I saw Emma but had to be sewn up and brought back to the room. Meanwhile Phil and Emma went upstairs without me to be checked out. They were in the room when I got there. But because I never got to hold my baby, Phil would not let anyone else touch her (except him) until I got to hold her. Very sweet.
So he has it in him, I just wish he could be more like the dads who talk to the baby and like to feel it move, but we can't have it all now can we.

It's 7:45 and I have been up for an hour and I feel like I am ready for a nap at this point. I better go check up on Emma and see how she's doing. Until next time.

Another thing that is worrying me and it's a long way off but it's worth asking for people to pray for is the delivery.

I will be having a c-section but they always have a hard time finding the right spot for my epidural/spinal. Because of this when my son was delivered I had to be put to sleep and I was very upset about it. I felt like I missed out. He was my child and I couldn't even see him born. I know the important thing is that we are both healthy but I really want to be awake to see my child come into the world. So if you think of it pray that I get a good anestheiologist that gets my spinal placed the first time so I can see this baby be born.

It's official

I decided to start a new blog just to track this pregnancy. I can't keep my mouth shut long enough and I have so many things I want to blog about but can't on my regular one.

This is for all my friends that I have told and that are pulling and praying for me. Those who can keep a secret, and not blab to the world that I am having a baby. This happened to me last time I was pregnant and I was NOT happy. People who shouldn't have spread the news did and they will be the last to find out this time. Another reason I want to keep this a secret for a while.

As many of you know I have 2 children and have lost 2 children. Pregnancies 1 and 3 resulted in the children I have with me and 2 and 4 went on to heaven before I even had a chance to meet them.

So here I am pregnant with #5 eek, #5 that's crazy. I am so hoping that this baby will make it and be healthy. You can check in here to see pics and get updates, as it may be a while before I let the cat out of the bag.

Today I have 5 weeks along. Woo Hoo!

I am feeling very tired, my chest is hurting, I am starving all the time and I am gassy (sorry if it's TMI). I just want to record all this stuff for my own information looking back. I think I started getting morning sickness around week 6 with my daughter. I am not positive though. I don't have her pregnancy book with me here it's still at our old house and will probably stay there until the spring.

So far I feel very similar to how I felt when I was pregnant with my daughter. I am getting major girl vibes this time. Not sure why, it just feels the same as it did with Emma so maybe that's why I am thinking that way.

Anyone want to put in any guesses yet?