Somebody pinch me

I have entered the crazy dream phase of pregnancy. Actually I wouldn't say crazy...I would say scary dreams. I think it's probably some of my anxiety about this pregnancy that is playing out in the dream world. I guess I won't totally be satisfied and at peace until I have the next ultrasound so I know for sure everything anatomically is good.

The other night I dreamed that I was sleeping and when I woke up I was covered in blood. Gross I know. Obviously this has to be related to my previous miscarriages. Two nights ago I dreamed that something was wrong with the baby and it died. Again, probably playing off my miscarriage fears. I know I am past that point in pregnancy, but it will be a real comfort when I feel kicking constantly and when I see this little person on the screen again.

I got back to the doctors this Thursday. I am really hoping to schedule my ultrasound for May 3rd because, not only will I be 18 weeks and some odd days, but Phil will be home. He has to go to a school from May 4th-7th so if I can't go on the 3rd then I will have to wait another week which I know is no big deal but considering the dreams etc...I don't know if I will be able to wait that long without driving myself crazy. So lets pray for an ultrasound opening Monday, May 3rd after 1.

Emma is so cute this time around. She is really excited to be able to feel the baby move. She thinks she does now but I know she doesn't. I can only feel it sometimes and that's just from the inside. Emma will come up to me place her head on my belly and say I can hear her, or I can feel the baby it just kicked me. Wait until it REALLY kicks her...boy will she be surprised. It's kind of fun to see your child so excited about it though. She wasn't like that when I was pregnant with Ethan but then again she was only 3.

I am adding my 4 month picture here even though I already posted it on Facebook.