You want me to eat that?

The past two days have been horrible. I have been so hungry but everytime I eat I just want to spit it out. I crave things then I get them and they are gross.

Right now I hate eating. I know it's not good and I do eat little things here and there but nothing tastes good.

Maybe I should keep taking the morning sickness meds even though I am not throwing up. I don't know.

I just get this hungry feeling and if I don't eat right then, literally right then, then I feel sick and can't eat.

4 more days....until the 2nd trimester. I know it won't disappear on Sunday but still I am getting closer to the more glorious pregnancy days.

Let's face it the first three months pretty much suck. Your either sick, tired, moody, worried about the baby or all of the above. It will be nice just to sit back and enjoy the ride for a while.

I rest my case

Now you will never believe me but this first picture of me in the green shirt is me 4 months pregnant with my son. I AM HUGE!



Here I am at 5 months. Things even out a whole lot and I look more like I should.









I had to stick up for myself here. Like I said I get huge right off the bat but then things even out around 5 months. I was huge right away with Ethan and he was only my 3rd pregnancy.

Here is a pic proving that thing even out some when I get to 5 months. It's not the greatest picture but you can see how small my belly is. I was at least 20 weeks and we had just found out we were having a boy!

Proverbs 16:9

I read in Proverbs today the exact thing I was talking about yesterday.



Proverbs 16:1-9 (But pay attention to verse 9)

1 To man belong the plans of the heart,
but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.

2 All a man's ways seem innocent to him,
but motives are weighed by the LORD.

3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed.

4 The LORD works out everything for his own ends—
even the wicked for a day of disaster.

5 The LORD detests all the proud of heart.
Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.

6 Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for;
through the fear of the LORD a man avoids evil.

7 When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD,
he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.

8 Better a little with righteousness
than much gain with injustice.

9 In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps

Who me? Make plans for my life? Try to see into the future and plan every last detail? What? Me? No?

Ok well yah. I am guilty as charged.

I never once imagined that life would bring us to West Virginia. I never thought I would have 3 kids. I never thought I would loose two of my babies. I never thought I would be able to raise a boy. I never thought I would have gone into labor with my boy 13 days early on my scheduled c-section date. I never imagined we would one day loose our house. I never thought we would get 32 hours of overtime this week. And the list goes on.

And luckily I have someone who is determining my steps. Who sees my plans for life and determines my motives and whether or not what I want is in line with what He wants. Thank God, He knows better then I do.

God of the Impossible

Lots of changes around here lately. So many disruptions in our lives. I didn't know if we were doing the right thing moving. But I heard preacher say recently, sometimes you pray about it then step out in a leap of faith and let God provide. That's what we did coming here.

We've had some rough months and we will have many more ahead of us with our house etc. One thing God kept telling me is that "He was God of the impossible."

Of course me being me, would remind Him of this concerning things that I wanted and thought were best for me. I mean, come on. It's not like me to not plan my life out and the way it will go. "and then I will find thousands of dollars stashed in the walls...because you do that for others so why not me?"

All the while not finding any money but having God repeat "He is God of the impossible." I actually got mad at God because we didn't have money to pay all our bills last pay period. I got angry and asked Him why He would do this? He provided this job He was supposed to take care of our needs. Not only did we not have enough money but we also had money stolen out of bank account. Seriously. what. else. was. going. to. happen?
Thankfully, God is merciful and gracious. Thankfully we can't tick Him off to bad. (I thought for sure He would strike me dead the way I carried on.) I know some of you out there are gasping. "Why would you yell at God." Well honestly, He's my Father right? And I am supposed to cast my cares on Him...emotions included. Christianity is not a "religion" but a relationship. Wouldn't you tell someone you loved that they were ticking you off? Sure, I know that things are slightly different in this case because I really am wrong every time. But why would I hide these things from Him? He knows my heart anyway. Better to speak it and not be burdened with it anymore then to walk around ready to explode.

Like I said God is forever gracious and forgiving. He just kept on gently reminding me of this. Well the beginning of last week we had only 6 hours of overtime clocked. Nice to have overtime but since we took such a big cut in pay and we were already behind from last check we needed a total of 32 to just break even. My first thought, impossible. How could he possibly work an extra 32 hours in one week? There was no way. Again, voicing my concerns to God because there was nothing we could do. We weren't refusing overtime and we certainly couldn't create it ourselves. Long story short here we are on Monday ready to put his time card in and we have a total of 32 hours. The exact amount we need to pay the bills. He is God of the impossible. I never thought in a million years we would have gotten enough overtime, but He knew.

I ruled out getting pregnant in January, though I had been praying for a third child for years. I was fine with that. Phil was going to be gone a whole week during my fertile time and that was ok. We'd try in February. Except I never got a period. God, is God of the impossible, He knew, He had a plan much greater then ours.

It really is true that God is faithful to us even when we can't see it. He is faithful when we rant about not being able to pay the electric bill. For some reason, He is faithful to us even when we are not faithful to Him. When it's hard for us to see, and trust that this could possibly work out for good.

He is, God of the Impossible. And I look forward to see what else He will do this year. Seems to be His theme for our family in 2010. When our whole lives seem so very chaotic right now, He is God of the Impossible.

Whisper sweet nothings to me

Yesterday Phil worked very late. Actually, he worked all day and it was Sunday. But that's ok because at least at this job he gets paid for it.
He came home and I showed him a pick of a first time mom who is about 2 weeks behind me. I said that I was surprised she was showing as first time moms' don't show very quickly. I said to him that I wasn't a whole lot bigger then she is.
Now can we see where this is headed? I know I am big. That's just what my body does. But I have carried 2 children to term and 2 others until I was over 3 months before I lost them. My uterus is very intelligent and has an awesome memory. It pops right back out the second I pee on a stick. Not to mention that even though I appear to be 5 months along right now, I will stay this way until I pass the 5 month mark. And I haven't gained anything except the 2 lbs I lost before I got pregnant. Oh yah and did I mention how rockin' my body is after baby? I think my thyroid gets impaired while pregnant because so far every child I have delivered sucks all the fat out. I usually have lost 20-25 lbs at my 6 weeks check up. No word of a lie. I will post pics....and I don't even do anything it just falls off. SOOOOOOOOO.........

His response to me was "No offense, but she's like a size 2 and well....uh."

WHAT?! You do not tell Jekyl and Hyde that they are super huge. Hello!!! This is the one time you are supposed to lie and say I look like a size zero even though I haven't been a zero since I was 12. I am carrying HIS child after all. He's the one who in. Seriously.

MEN! I guess he's honest. So when I ask if I look fat and he says yes he's telling the truth. But sometimes, honesty is NOT the best policy. Especially when you are a hormonal lady carrying HIS child.