Beyond my control

How much more can one person take? Phil started school last week. We were supposed to get money from the VA for the GI Bill he paid into, which would cover costs and we'd actually make a little bit. Except, they changed the rules....now we won't see money until September. Our computer is on the fritz. Our monitor keeps popping up with a "contrast" window, when we looked into it it says that this happens when the monitor is dying. The cpu already died and we got an old one from my dad for now. The computer is 10 yrs old so I guess it's time, but why now? The keyboard is only typing the letters it feels like typing. Making blogging extremely hard but making paper writing for school nearly impossible. My coffee pot broke. It's heating the water too much causing all the water to evaporate rather then percolate. My car is not running right. It's going in the shop next Tues because this is the earliest they could take it in. We only have one car and they won't give us a loaner vehicle. We can't afford a rental. We have a crack in our windshield. My daughter has been eating at school everyday because I don't have money to buy lunches. The bill came in. I can't pay it. She won't be able to eat there anymore. We make $300 to much to qualify for free or reduced lunch. She brought bread with honey on it for lunch. She had toast for breakfast. I pray someone has mercy on her and shares food with her. This is not her fault. We have an allotment set up for our HSA account. I've been paying the medical bills this way. Come to find out, for some reason the money isn't in the account. All my medical bills are now in collections. Medical bills that I wouldn't have if some stupid doctor hadn't butchered my body. How do you keep from feeling despair? How do you not get depressed? My checking account reads -$11. We get paid Thursday, today is Tuesday. Because we have fallen behind we are out of the programs that reduced payment on some of our bills. This puts us behind another $1,000. We need $6,000 just to catch up. Whether this is true or not, this is how I feel. People have told me for months that God provides. Except, I haven't seen it. We haven't had money for food since November so I have been buying food instead of paying bills. I would think that it's not in Gods will for one to forclose on a house and also go bankrupt. Except this is essentially what happend to Job. So maybe it is God's will. But why? Why is there one valley after another? I am ready for the mountain. God can provide my needs, but he hasn't. God could have provided a buyer for our house that was for sale for 2 yrs. But He didn't. Not even one offer. God could send someone to help us, but He hasn't. How do you explain that? People tell me I need to tithe. I have given 10% or more on everything I've made and still I'm here 3 days before payday with no money or food. I've given out of my need.....and I have nothing left. Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you. I come to God everyday, begging for Him to hear me. Begging Him to answer me. Silence. I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this. Applied to 8 online jobs. All have been declined. I have no way to list anything on ebay. Our card reader broke and I don't have money to get a new one. Faith is believing even when the circumstance seems impossible. My circumstance is impossible. There is no way to fix this unless God does it. The only way this will work out is if God does something amazing. I sure hope He does.