Lowering the bar

I have been getting frustrated quite easily these days. It's easy to sit around and point fingers and say well if they only did this different and if they only did that then I would be happy.

Let me give you an example.

My daughter. I love her to death, but she doesn't like to sleep. She has never been a sleeper. She doesn't require a lot of sleep and that's just who she is. Every night I have put that child to bed ;since she's been in a bed; she gets up or calls us at least twice. She could lay in her bed for 2 hours and then all of a sudden out of nowhere she comes walking out of her room to tell me her teeth are sharp. lol.

Can I just say this annoys the heck out of me.

But then a few weeks ago it just dawned on me. This is who she is. In some ways she needs discipline but in other ways there are things that aren't going to be changed. This is one of them. She is not hurting anybody so really its not that big of a deal. To me it was. Until something said "you know she does this every night. She's done this for the past 5 years. Get used to it."
And so I started to adjust. The first night we put her to bed I thought to myself now remember in about 5 mins she is going to call you and tell you she can't go to sleep. Then she'll get up to pee, then she'll get up to tell you something insignificant that happened that day.
Sure enough, she pretty much acted on queue. The difference...instead of my yelling and getting frustrated and upset I just let her be her.
The payoff, she went to bed in peace (when she finally decided she was going to sleep) and I wasn't all flustered at how bad she was.

That one incident has and is showing me that perhaps I need to do that with others in my lives. To the people who say stupid stuff to me. Instead of stewing over it realizing that they do this all the time and it's probably just how they are. Whether it be right on their part or not. Am I really that perfect that I should judge them on what their so called "sin" is? No.

I find that other times I get frustrated and mad at people because I'm just jealous. For those who have mom's involved in their lives. A mom/daughter pair said something to me and really it was stupid, it shouldn't have been a big deal but I was mad at them. I was talking to God about it when He spoke every so gently and said " your not upset at what they said, your upset because your jealous. You wish your mom were like that."

Phil has been working like crazy lately and he said when it's all over with he'd like to go with a guy from work for a weekend to go fishing somewhere. He has a free plane ticket left from his old job and he has to use it by August 4th. He wanted to go to Yellowstone, or something like that with his friend and fish and forget work. I shouldn't have a problem with that but I immediately felt myself getting mad at it and getting my feelings hurt because he wanted to go. It didn't make any sense. Afterall I am going away for a weekend in a couple of weeks why can't he go for a weekend somewhere. And then it dawned on me...I'm jealous. I'm jealous that we have been here for 8 months and he is such good friends with this guy already. That they click. I should be happy for him and I wasn't because he has a friend here and I don't. How lame.

I never thought of myself as being a jealous person but I guess that I am. Thankfully God is working it out in me. But isn't that just like humans. We automatically think the other person is to blame when if we look at it deeper it's just possible that we have to work on ourselves. Maybe these people are in our lives to work out the areas we struggle with. Maybe, just maybe I should stop see what's really going on and extend the same grace to a person that God has shown me.

It's no fun being the person that is wrong. It stinks to think that yes, even I, have flaws. I would like to walk around thinking the whole world adores me (as God does) and I am perfect the way I am and everyone else has to change. But that's not reality. That's one way to loose a lot of people in a hurry. I hate it when I'm wrong.

Today is there someone in your life who you can extend grace and mercy to? Maybe there is something deeper in you that is causing you to be hurt or unhappy. Check yourself next time your put in that position, you may not like what you find but you will be better for it.